Grandparents are great for napping on. Insist on sleeping on them exclusively. (Cribs are for suckers.)
If you don't have a boobie to nom on, try something new. There are several other parts of Mommy that are great to chew on - her cheeks, her neck, her shoulders... You can also try sucking on your own arms and fingers. I gave myself a nice big hickey just last week.
Not digging the ring sling? Make like Ferris Beuller and throw your folks off with an inanimate imposter.
When you get your diaper changed, save one last poo to break the new one in. And while we are on the subject of diapers changes, you should know that Dads LOVE getting peed on. Show the guy some love.
Socks are the enemy. Shake them off at every opportunity. When your efforts to lose socks fail, pee on them.
Be sure to fall asleep in positions that will challenge your parents. Mental and physical stimulation is essential to their training.
When people send you clothes, your Mom might force you to model them for photos. Always cry when this happens, that way the people sending the gifts will feel guilty and maybe be compelled to try again. More tears = more gifts.
If the flow of milk slows down while you are nursing, simply bite down on your Mom's nipple and shake your head back and forth while growling like an angry bear. Listening to her howl in pain is hilarious.