And more importantly, she's a healthy baby who passed all her genetic screening tests. We're thrilled to officially be in the second trimester and to officially be having a baby.
Now we can move on to the usual pregnancy worries - stuff like arguing over names and wondering where on earth another baby will sleep. We need to go through our baby stash to see what we have at hand, what will need to be replaced, and which things might still be out there on loan somewhere.
I also really need to get an OBGYN. This baby will want to come out eventually, after all, and my maternal fetal medicine doctor has no interest in catching my baby.
Part of me wishes we could still do a home birth. That's the selfish part of me who just really wants to give birth in a quiet room full of strong women once again. That part of me is balking at hiring my top recommended doctor (who just happens to be male) and is more than a little intimidated by the prospect of paying for a hospital birth. It will cost a small fortune, even if everything goes exactly as planned.
I should be soured on midwives and home births after everything that's happened, but the romantic side of me still craves that experience and cringes at the idea of being hooked to a bunch of wires and monitors while I push out a baby.
But I do know that modern medicine can be a miracle worker, and that I would never forgive myself if something preventable happened to this baby. I need to get over myself and call the OBGYN my doctor has recommended.
Now back to baby names. So far all of my amazing badass female warrior names have been vetoed by the husband. Does he really get to veto here? I sort of feel like I've earned the right to name this kid whatever I want - and that is something with plenty of strength and gusto - something that will hopefully infuse this tiny person with the strength she will need to navigate life as a woman.
It can't be too cute or too flowery. My perfect name could double as male or unisex - at least by way of nickname. I would love for it either pay homage to a real feminist icon, or hold a meaning that encompasses my hopes for her life.
In a lot of ways, I feel like raising a woman will be a whole lot more challenging that raising a man. After all, the world is pretty much designed for the comfort of my white male son. My big challenge is to keep him humble and mindful of his place in the world. But life is hard for women. The whole world will be trying to break her down while I keep trying to lift her up. She is in for a life filled with challenges - both physical and emotional. I hope that by the time she is an adult the world is a better place for the female gender, but I know there is no way everything we are up against will be fixed by then.
These are the things I try to get my spouse to understand when he suggests a name that sounds to me like a Disney princess. It's not that the name isn't pretty. It's that she will need so much more than pretty to make a great life for herself. She will need grit, determination, self confidence, and brains. She'll need everything that I've leaned on to make it through every day from childhood on.
She needs to be named after a viking warrior woman or a female revolutionary. Not a rainbow pony.
