I never know what to say when the world lets it's crazy out and everything seems awful. But I know I should say SOMETHING. Ignoring hate, accepting bigotry as business as usual, or burying my head in the sand and trying to wish the bad stuff away makes me feel like an enabler. I might not know how to fix it, but I know that it's wrong, and I know that the least I can do is say so.
So, this is me saying so. In case you didn't know, the kind of hate and ignorance that generates a day like today is so wrong I can't even wrap my head around it. It makes my stomach hurt. It ignites my flight response - as if there were anywhere safe from the dark side of humanity.
It makes me afraid for the future, and so very sad about the past. I regret never realizing how much power these people held, for ever thinking I understood what it was like to live in a different shade of skin without experiencing it myself, and for taking for granted that the world was moving forward, not backward.
That's all. I'm feeling sick and sad and more than a little overwhelmed.
The fact that there are people out there who would love to see people I love hurt, tossed out, or at the very least, put in their place, sickens me.
But instead of getting sad, I should be getting angry. I should be getting louder. I should be letting my mama bear out to help knock down every social injustice that comes within reach of my paws.
We can do better.
"My I.Q." Ani Difranco
when I was four years old
they tried to test my I.Q.
they showed me a picture
of 3 oranges and a pear
they said,
which one is different?
it does not belong
they taught me different is wrong
but when I was 13 years old
I woke up one morning
thighs covered in blood
like a war
like a warning
that I live in a breakable takeable body
an ever-increasingly valuable body
that a woman had come in the night to replace me
deface me
see,
my body is borrowed
yeah, I got it on loan
for the time in between my mom and some maggots
I don't need anyone to hold me
I can hold my own
I got highways for stretchmarks
see where I've grown
I sing sometimes
like my life is at stake
'cause you're only as loud
as the noises you make
I'm learning to laugh as hard
as I can listen
'cause silence
is violence
in women and poor people
if more people were screaming then I could relax
but a good brain ain't diddley
if you don't have the facts
we live in a breakable takeable world
an ever available possible world
and we can make music
like we can make do
genius is in a back beat
backseat to nothing if you're dancing
especially something stupid
like I.Q.
for every lie I unlearn
I learn something new
I sing sometimes for the war that I fight
'cause every tool is a weapon -
if you hold it right.
