We're on the road this week, visiting our friends and family back in Connecticut. There are many kids to hug, babies to kiss, and new houses to "ooh" and "ahh" over. Luckily, we missed the polar vortex by a few days, so the demented cold that New England is capable of seems to have granted us a nice little reprieve.
While pretty much every adult reacts to my little bump of joy in about the same way, kids offer a much more entertaining and unpredictable range of questions, comments, and emotions. I thought it might be fun to share some of the best conversations I had this week.
Womb Mechanics with Natalia, age five
Natalia loves babies, so her Mom got a huge kick out of delivering the news. When she pointed out that there was a baby in my belly, Natalia squealed in delight, tickled my middle for several minutes, then began asking questions.
"So if the baby is in your tummy, how can you drink water? Doesn't the baby drown?", she asks.
"Nope. The baby is in its own little room, and my tummy is in another.", I say.
"Then how does the baby eat? If the food is in another room?!"
"Well... I send the baby food through a tube. It's like he has a straw."
"Oh, ok. Well, I think babies are just as beautiful as... COWS."
"Oh yeah. Definitely."
"And snakes... and glasses."
Later that week Natalia harangued her mom with many more questions, including the ever-awkward "How did the baby get in there?" and "How will it get out?"
Family Dynamics with Gia (age six), Anthony (age three), and Nico (age five)
My God-kids had their own theories on all of this, which were relayed to me by their mom via text message. As usual, Melissa's text messages put me in serious danger of puddle pants.
Gia, declares "Aunt Mary and Uncle Sky (their own version of Uncle Scotty) are having a GIRL, and she's my sister."
Anthony retorts, "No! It's a boy like me and Uncle Sky. Aunt Mary's belly button is gonna stretch so he can get out."
"Yup!", says their Mom, "That's exactly right... her belly button."
As the argument continued, Nico, her five year old son whisper's in Melissa's ear, "Only CJ (their cousin) was born THAT way. I came out of your vagina."
On another note, have you ever watched three kids under the age of six use an Easy Bake Oven? Freaking hilarious. "Stirring" was pretty much an excuse to eat powdered cake mix. When the little cake balls were finished Melissa says "I wish we could offer you one, but they're mostly saliva."
Case in point, sprinkle cleanup.