Baby finally falls asleep after two hours of resistance. Right on que the doorbell rings and the dog begins to bark madly.
I open the door to find a girl dressed like a hipster Ellie Satler standing there with a clipboard.
"HI! I'm -"
"Look, I'm really sorry but I just put my baby down and the dog is barking and going to wake him up so you have to go."
While attempting to stick her entire head in my door so I can't close it she says, "But we're the ones who fought to get BPA out of baby bottles and sippy cups so really -"
Look of death.
"You really have to go."
"Should I come back later?"
"No. There will still be a baby and a dog here later."
She looks at me with like I'm eating fried baby seal eyes while driving a Hummer on my way to vote against women's rights.
This interaction really burned my britches. I wanted to tell her I already give money to help the environment. I've rallyed. I've marched. I recycle. I eat local food. I drive an electric car. I wash my hair with vinegar. I'm doing my part, dammit. Don't judge me you little twerp. Just because I don't have any time or money to give you today doesn't make me a facist.
One day, many years from now. May Hipster Ellie Satler lay her own baby down in his crib just to be interrupted by an unexpected 19-year old asking for money to fight a cause she's already dedicated plenty of her own life toward. Let's see how she likes it.